When All is Said and Done
by mabe
Summary: Forgiveness, you must find. Yoda's last words keep coming back to Obi Wan. He knows he has to find it somewhere – He needs it and his master demands it. But what could Yoda possibly want by sending him to escort the dying Padme?


**Disclaimer: **No, I don't own anything...

**Author's Note: **Before you start reading this story, let me tell you that this is an Obidala fic - well, sort of... If you don't know idea what I meant, I recommend you to just read it... Hehe... One more thing, if you find some similarities between this story and a fic called, "On Padme's Death," well, maybe because I wrote that fic, too... :D Hehe!

Last but not least, of course, I will be very happy if you want to give some reviews.. I'd appreciate them... :D

Thanks very much!!!**

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When All is Said and Done...

Obi Wan never really looked before him all the way from Mustafar to Polis Massa. He hid his eyes under his hand, refusing to uncover reality. The reality where his beloved Padawan had turned to the Dark Side, the reality where his best friend had betrayed him, the reality where his brother had ruined the woman, now lying unconscious on a bed on the far side of the ship. He just realized only then, how selfish he had been; he had been so lost in his own grief and anger, that he had forgotten about her: Padme.

He left 3PO alone on the cockpit room (he, too, just realized the droid's presence at that time) and stepped to where he last saw Padme sleeping. Hours had past since he caressed her cheek, whispering, "Sleep well, sweet Padme," and left her with her dreams.

When he was already beside her, she was still sleeping but her lips mumbled some words he couldn't hear. Her forehead wrinkled as if she was thinking in her sleep. She shook her head rhythmically. But it was the look on her face that made Obi Wan determine to wake her up from any kind of nightmare she was probably dreaming. He touched her shoulder so she could be released from the pain – and he could stop seeing the painful look on her face.

She woke up instantly, gasping at the same time. "Obi Wan?" He was right; she was having a nightmare.

When Padme merely looked at him with the same aching gaze, it just occurred to him that he simply didn't know what to do. He just wanted to see her; he didn't know what to do or to say when he already laid his eyes on her.

He started stepping back and trying to walk back the trace that –minutes ago- had led him to Padme's side. But something hindered him from doing so. A weak touch on his hand spoke for her, told him she needed him to stay. He looked back at her (still the same pain) then to the cockpit room. Assuring himself he had switched on the automatic pilot before leaving it alone with C3PO, he reached for a stool with his free hand and seated himself beside her.

They didn't talk for several minutes. The only sound that was heard was the beeping of the machine. Obi Wan was just thinking to himself, What a waste of time this must be, when Padme finally broke the silence.

"Is Anakin all right?" said she, asking the same question she had enquired a few hours ago. And like a few hours ago, Obi Wan didn't own the answer. Well, he owned it but he didn't own the capability to spoil it to her. The last time he was lucky since Padme fell unconscious afterwards. This time, he had to find any word to fish her out of curiosity. Lucky for him, he found it fast.

"You know," he replied, so softly you could mistake it for whispers. "You should've ended up with another Jedi."

When he finished, he smiled because he didn't know how Padme would react. Therefore, he was quite surprised to see she was also smiling at his joke, though with a great effort.

"Oh," she said, "there was a Jedi." She paused for a while. Then, "But I disgusted him."

It was as if a hammer had fallen onto his head and knowledge poured into the hole it had made. Neither of them considered his former words as a joke. It was reality for him to feel she shouldn't have ended up with a Jedi – at least not the one she married with.

He moved on to reply with this new knowledge; it lit him with a somber glow. "Oh, no! I don't think you're capable to disgust anyone."

Padme slowly argued, "But he despised me. He barely talked to me long after we first knew one another, although we spent days together at the same ship. And when," she pursued, "we were reunited after years of separation, he – he left so he wouldn't be near me."

When she stopped, Obi Wan found himself trying to prove her wrong. "It's not true. Maybe he was only," he paused, but not for long. "Afraid."

"Afraid?"

"He was afraid of her," he concluded.

"Oh!" sighed Padme, rolling her eyes, making Obi Wan –suddenly- more and more eager to explain, "No, no! He was afraid of her – of her effects on him."

Padme's skimmed through his face once more as he moved on, "He was afraid because he knew, for her smile, he could leave one thing he thought he wanted the most. With her beauty, he could leave the thing he had sworn he would never abandon. He was afraid because if he talked to her and stood near her, he could have disobeyed the rules he had learned by heart ever since he was a wee boy,

"He knew if he opened his heart but a little, he could've left everything to be with her."

None of them said a word afterwards. Padme kept staring at Obi Wan, but the Jedi averted his eyes and looked at his toes instead.

"Obi Wan," he heard her calling but her voice wasn't the only thing that was sounded. The beeping of the machine ceased slowly and a thud let him know they had arrived.

When he stood up and pulled his hands from hers, though, it was more because of his reluctance to hear her asking about her husband again. Lucky for him, the ship landed just in time.

"Come," he commanded. Padme feebly circled her arms around his neck and, easily, he lifted her up with both hands. She rested her head on his shoulder, while he ran towards Bail Organa, whom he saw waiting outside.

Right after the senator showed him the operation room and he left Padme in the hands of the droids, did only Obi Wan realize, it was the first time he had embraced her.

He wondered if it was also his last time.

Obi Wan didn't see Padme again till some hours later. At that time, the droids had dressed her in a white dress and some minutes later the baby would be born. Or is it babies?

When the medical droid told him, Organa, and Yoda that Padme was carrying twins, Obi Wan hid himself in the corner, thinking what this whole thing was supposed to mean.

The screams and the screeching shrieks were the ones freeing him from his contemplation. They told him that it had already begun. But no single baby emerged into life, no matter how hard, how loud the mother screamed and struggled.

Obi Wan didn't know which one; which scream, which plea that moved him, but he suddenly told himself that it was enough. His feet had taken steps forward before his brain had told them to, and in a moment, he was already inside the operation chamber, standing beside the mother-to-be, holding her hand at the same time. He stayed there despite the questioning looks of Organa and the droid, despite the frowns of disapproval from Yoda, and despite the doubtful stare from Padme. The doubt soon vanished for reasons she herself probably couldn't explain. And when some minutes later a baby boy was born, the questions and the frowns disappeared as well.

Obi Wan remained beside Padme even until the other baby was born and she tried reassuring him what a good man Anakin was before passing out once again.

No sign of revival emerged from Padme yet when they finally landed in her home planet of Naboo. Not also when Yoda decided the future of the twins: The girl went to Organa, the boy to his uncle. "But only after -" Yoda stopped here to let the others know what he was about to say next shouldn't be taken for granted.

Yoda turned to face Obi Wan. The girl would go to Organa, the boy to his uncle. But only after their mother has spent her last days with them – in her favorite place, Lake Country.

Obi Wan closed his eyes to discern this decision. When he opened them again, he said to the Jedi Master, "I will watch over the boy."

Yoda replied nothing at first, but from the way he never averted his looks upon him, Obi Wan knew he had still much to say.

"But only after -," he repeated, "returned you had from Lake Country."

Obi Wan stared at him disbelievingly. His silence gave Yoda an opportunity to move on.

"Forgiveness, you must find," spoke he, "go, the only way is."

Padme didn't wake up even when the ship slightly shook as it landed in the Lake Country. She was still sleeping even when they had placed her in a bed in a rented house. She didn't open her eyes even when the babies were crying helplessly from the next room. No. All she did was closing her eyes from the world – literally. Obi Wan was beginning to fear the possibility of her falling into a coma. He would love to enter her mind with his Jedi power, but the babies kept screaming, crying, and yelling, that Obi Wan could do nothing but being alone in his own bedroom, both hands knitted above his head and forehead between his knees to redeem the noise. All the while, he was asking himself, what would Yoda want by putting him here? Was it to starve the infants to death?

God knows how long they had wailed continuously – and he miraculously fell asleep. When he opened his eyes again, it was already morning. Sunbeam hurt his eyes when he first unclosed his eyelids. The back of his neck was aching as a result of too much time he had spent by bending his head. Every little body movement made him feel like a thousand knives had been stabbed into his flesh. Everything was hurt – except for his ears.

He stood up as soon as he noticed the odd stillness. The absence of the babies' cries made him sick. He ran to their room, so afraid that his assumption was right: They had died.

The door to the room was ajar, and there by the entrance, he fell to his knees abruptly. Not because he found the babies blue and breathless. It was because he didn't find them at all.

Panic surfaced in him as his mind swirled to the occupant of the other room. He swore he almost cried as he sighed helplessly, "Padme."

His steps were getting heavier and heavier as he trudged the way to the next room. Unlike the children's room, the door was closed. He was ready to fall on his knees once more as he touched the handle and, slowly, pushed the door open. But what he found gave wings to his shoes instead.

What he found inside the room were the babies. One of them was lying on the silky sheet, chuckling all the time; he guessed it was Leia. Her brother wasn't there beside her. Someone was holding him tenderly; singing to him and making him laugh. He couldn't see her face, so when Obi Wan uttered a name, it was more of a question rather than a friendly call.

"Padme?"

Padme turned around slowly, so she wouldn't shock Luke. Her face was filled with the same lively colors that had crayoned her children's cheeks. Her smile was serene yet joyful as she called back, "Obi Wan!"

It was the ending of all worries, all fears, doubts, and confusions. Padme never looked so alive –and beautiful- before; so young and fresh! Her twins were, undeniably, the source of this new happiness. As he watched her feeding, playing with, singing to, and caressing the newly-borns, Obi Wan couldn't help but wondering if she was dying after all. Just looking at her since the day he found her with the babies up to this day, the sixth day in Lake Country, he convinced she would outlive everyone.

It was the ending of all badness. Sadly for Obi Wan, it was also the ending of a friendship. Since Padme called him back that day, he hardly saw her. Even though they were together in the same room, they were never alone. Of course, the children were also there. And when Padme looked at them, she acted like there existed nothing but herself and the two little souls in front of her. Meanwhile, Yoda's words kept coming back to Obi Wan and the more he tried to discern them, the more he was lost.

Before he knew it, it was already a week since they arrived in Lake Country. As always a habit in his loneliness, Obi Wan stood on the balcony, watching the full moon took shape as he did so. The sounds of the night encircled him, making him unaware of his surroundings. The babies and Padme had been surprisingly so still – too still, in fact. He checked on the moon once more as if to brace himself and left the balcony to visit the babies.

The door creaked when he opened it, but it never disturbed the babies from their slumbering. He closed it carefully behind him; the sound it made this time was as peaceful as their faces.

He started moving back towards the balcony, but when he passed Padme's door, he thought it wouldn't hurt to knock. So knock he did. The reply he awaited never came, yet it didn't make him change his mind and return back to his moon. He knocked once more. No answer. Before he started questioning himself about ethics, codes, and such, he pushed the door open.

The moonlight shone wildly inside, despite of the tranquility of the room. It helped him to search through the darkness. And what he was trying to search was lying helplessly on the bed. The way Padme closed her eyes and knitted her fingers reminded him on the day she bore the twins. That same death scene.

Eager to wake her from the death, he called her name, more loudly than he had intended, "Padme?" His effort succeeded. For, slowly, she opened her eyes and, smiling calmly, she named him back.

What occurred next was oblivious to both of them, even long after everything had passed.

Silently, she offered her hand to him. She didn't have to say anything, but somehow Obi Wan knew, it was a sign beckoning him to her; to lie by her side. And that was what he did. He put his head beside hers. Lying sideways, he knew exactly she had many words to say to him – as many as her weak health permitted her.

"Obi Wan," she started feebly, "promise me you won't kill him."

Suddenly, his mind was taken by anger he never knew he had. Again, it's always him! Anakin this, Anakin that! He was more than ready to curse her husband's name in front of her face, yet her next words prevented him.

"There's still good in him, I know. Promise me." She sighed heavily, "Obi Wan, promise me."

Inside Obi Wan was swirling all kinds of feelings: Pity and affection colliding with disapproval and anger. He closed his eyes; they were now burning madly. When he opened them, fiery tears were almost watering his vision.

"Why?" A question rather than a promise seemed more sensible to him now. "Why? After all he's done -?" He never finished his question, after all.

"Because – because," she replied, it was as if she owned the answers to all his questions, "when all is said and done, you have nothing but to forgive,

"So, Obi Wan. Would you? Promise me?"

This time, he was the one with the answer. "Yes, yes…," he feebly nodded. The tears in his eyes almost fell as he did so.

She smiled wider than before. She touched his cheek and, whispering a Thank You, she softly kissed his lips. When she had pulled back, the Jedi in front of her has turned into the man she never knew. The hand she put on his cheek was now wetted with tears he had long held. He sobbed like a little child when he cried, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry,

"I shouldn't have followed you into the ship. I murdered you. I'm so sorry -"

The strange smile was visible once again. It stayed and grew even more as she replied, "I forgive you. Obi Wan –," she helplessly breathed.

"Oh, my dearest!" he cried it to the hollow room. And when the walls had echoed them back, he found himself searching once again for that tender kiss. The kiss he had given before. The kiss that forgives. It didn't demand anything, but when he had found it, he had to face the fact that he only wanted more. But, no, it didn't demand anything. His long arms were now embracing her figure. Closer to her than ever now, he just wanted to be closer again. But, no! It demanded nothing.

Every kiss and every touch was his surrender. Every kiss and every touch was his calamity. And every kiss and every touch was his forgiveness.

When Obi Wan woke up the next morning, he found Padme in his arms. He looked at her carefully. The sun found its way to her reddened cheeks and her smile reflected its beam. Its heat warmth her body. She never looked so alive before.

Obi Wan stared at the ceiling and breathed deeply – the way he stared at the moon the night before, to brace himself. Slowly, he got up from the bed. Padme didn't stir at all.

He searched through his robe and finally found what he was looking for. He had promised Bail Organa to let him know when the time should come. As soon as the communicator was turned on, the holographic image of the senator appeared.

Organa looked back at him askance. Obi Wan took a deeper breath before he could finally reveal to him, "She's gone."

Organa informed the Naberries of the heart-breaking news. They were muted instantly. Each of them, including the little nieces, went to the ship landing quietly, where they –and Organa- met the Queen, and never let out a word until a ship awkwardly approached and Obi Wan emerged from it; Padme's dead body in his arms. At that instant, they burst into tears harmoniously; the father took Padme's body from the Jedi, shrieking, "Oh, my daughter! Oh, my daughter!" at the same time. It was as if they didn't want to believe they had lost this beautiful senator until they had seen her lifeless body with their own eyes.

Organa wanted nothing but to be there for them; to console them. But there would be no better time than now, he thought. And so, slowly he climbed the ship to take the baby girl who supposedly was inside. He found her, he did, still sleeping despite of the chaos outside. He took her in his arms and then, only then he realized, the little boy and Obi Wan were gone already.

A few nights later, the funeral was held. All of Naboo citizens were there to honor their beloved senator. Organa was there, too, amidst those citizens, and Leia also, watching the grieving family and friends trudging behind the casket. Organa bowed as the group passed him. Then was when he perceived the twinkle in Leia's wide eyes; a bright star was reflected in them. He looked up at the sky to see what so big a star to have produced such a bright twilight.

It wasn't a star after all, though. Between the clouds, Organa saw, a certain small spaceship was flying static, as if, out of curiosity, a stranger had stopped to see what occurred below. But he knew it wasn't a stranger. He knew who he was and what he was: A friend and a Jedi.

Yet he never knew how the Jedi gazed woefully to the scene below him. He didn't know how he waited for the moon to shine on the dead lady. And when the shine has come, he never knew how the Jedi achingly whispered, "Sleep well, sweet Padme," before the ship that took him and the baby boy in his arms disappeared beyond the clouds.

The end.


End file.
